1. Comment on the differences in beliefs and behaviors when love is viewed as a "choice" (p. 327) rather than something you "fall into."

Love as a choice:

• Person understands that there will be ups & downs to a relationship and they can be worked through
• It takes work to maintain the love in a relationship
• Person chooses to love the other when they leave the cap off the toothpaste, the lid up on the toilet, etc

Love as in "falling in love":

• May base love on the fleeting emotions of happiness
• When there are arguments person may think they are out of love due to all the negative feelings/conflict
• Could lead to an on and off relationship
• Possibly lead to a turbulent relationship because a person could have held the other to an unrealistic standard
  

3.  Take the conversation/conformity quiz on page 387. Based on this, decide which of the family types (p. 372) your family most closely resembles. Explain how well (or not) this works for your family and why.
                                                                Protective Family
Having high conformity and low conversation orientation did not work very well in my family.  My father married my step-mother, who also had a child from a previous relationship, and a few years later they had a baby girl; making a total of 3 girls in the house.  This type of family with the nature of the relationships had negative outcomes:

• Caused step-children to be resentful of step-parent's authority
• Prevented bonding between step-children and step-parents
• Created tension amongst the children
• Damaged relationships between biological parents and children
• Some children ended up fearing a parent or step-parent
• Some children chose to end contact with a step-parent once they reached adulthood